Modern druids? Modern wankers.

If you believe in an organised religion through childhood indoctrination I regard you with pity. If you have come to believe in organised religion through your adult life I regard you as mildly retarded. If you have thrown aside organised religion for a belief in what they call 'Paganism' I regard you as a prime fucking wanker.

Druids, pagans and witches - tossers. Basing themselves on old religions we know next to nothing about, connections with mother nature that don't exist in any concious applicable form and believing that spells can do anything, ever, to anyone. Cunts. It's worse than most Christians, in that it's more active and a belief in superstition is even greater.

These are people for whom organised religion seems remote and disconnected - they're not quite stupid enough to believe. But in the void that appears in their lives lurks fear and superstition. The void has to be filled by bullshit. They're not quite clever enough to deny the urge.

Atheist Realities. Religious Necessities.

Atheism has a problem. It exists as a reaction against religion, and is in an unstable position because of it. In its worst incarnations it can look like a religion in itself - if you look at some of the extreme atheist forums you can understand why. Things aren't helped by the fact that scientific theory forces us to admit we can never prove if there's a god or not. We're all forced to believe something even if it's in nothing.

I am an atheist, but these days I prefer a gentler form of the game. I've never believed, no indoctrination was attempted as a child - I'm not even christened. So in my later years I find myself living without a religion as purely natural; you should be good to people as an acknowledgement of the society you enjoy and live your life for the benefit of that society.

But what of fighting the good fight? Shouldn't I be trying to create other atheists, protesting about the latest knuckle-dragging cluster fuck of a Papal decree, and generally attempting to destroy religion?

I don't think so. Other than setting an example by leading a decent life without god, I don't think any longer it's my place to do these things. Partly it's because those acts smack of religious activity, and partly it's because of a new realisation that struck me a few years ago and has been growing in my thoughts recently.

People are fucking thick. Even in a relatively rich society like the UK the average person leaves school with a poxy 2 GCSE grade C's. That means that the great masses of this, and presumably every other country, are deeply stupid people. People who without religion to rule their lives instantly seem to devolve into braintards believing in magic crystals, wicca, the cult of scientology or whatever other fucking rubbish someone is flogging to fill the religious void.

So could religion be necessary for a healthy society that consists mainly of sub-moronic halfwits? Could a lack of it be why UK society suffers from various form of anti-social problems? Could it be a creation of social evolution (in Dawkinian terms) that favours the continued existence of that society? I'd say it's worth considering.

New toys - Amazon Kindle

I'd wanted an e-reader for a long while, I don't have the best of eyesight and the tightly set text of many modern book imprints had basically stopped me from reading. This also made e-paper an essential - other screens refresh themselves constantly and make reading a lot of text a chore. My other criteria was price, around £100 seemed fair to me.

So when Amazon advertised the new 2010 Kindle at price points of £109 (wifi only) and £149 (including 3G mobile data facilities) I literally pre-ordered mine on the day. As I have no need to download books on the move I saved my money and ordered the wifi only model. Both share a 6" screen, 4GB of memory and the same form factor.

It arrived on time, was unpacked and powered up. It had a protective sheet of adhesive plastic with some warnings about use printed on it.. soon removed.. and.... it wasn't printed, it was text on the Kindle screen. Text of quite amazing clarity and quality. It's not like text in a book, it's far better, like a very high quality print on very high quality paper. I worked out the DPI of the 16-shade grey-scale screen and it's just about twice that of the monitor I'm using now. Impressive stuff.

It is, of course, monochrome. That doesn't worry me, this device is for reading text and for that you don't need colour. While we're about it, it's not touch-screen either - everyone who has handled my machine has tried to touch it. Sorry, but not at this price-point. Not yet.

Whilst you can find e-books to read all over the web, the Kindle Marketplace on Amazon is your central site to buy Kindle books, newspapers, magazines and blogs. You can buy a book either on your Kindle or via your PC browser. It's all very very streamlined - buy on the browser and next time you turn on your Kindle it's downloaded and you can read in a few seconds. I should note that there are many free books on the Marketplace, mainly older texts but very welcome indeed.

Reading itself is a pleasure. Large buttons on the side of the device offer page forward and back (on both sides to cater for lefties and righties alike). You can select sections, bookmark them, make annotations (using the excellent keyboard at the bottom of the device), select words and look them up in a dictionary, send quotes to Facebook or Twitter and generally do anything you could do with a book and so much more.

The tricks don't quite end there either. Hit a key combination and your Kindle will start reading back your book for you. Okay the Stephen Hawking voice will never be as good as hearing a well spoken audio-book, but it's a cool feature nonetheless. In addition you can play MP3s and there's even a basic Web browser available which works reasonably well.

The Kindle is a quite excellent machine. I can't compare it with other e-readers, having never used one, but this device does everything I'd expect from an e-reader and a lot more I didn't. It's a well-made machine and makes reading easy. Using one text size above default I find reading books is once again available to me - and that's worth a lot.

The Downing Street Sauna I

"Hey Dave, this is great, who thought this place existed, huh?"

"Yuh Nicky, apparently Denis had it put in to entertain some of his Arab oil chums, yah. Been here ever since, down in the depths. Here, be a good egg and throw another pail on the coals."

Clouds of steam rose from the red hot cherries of heat, filling the room even more until all was a white fog, the two men just light grey silhouettes in the thick hot mist. Dave stretched, his naked body immodestly clad in a small white towel, and his hand brushed Nick's shoulder. Nick jumped!

"Hey, hey hey buddy. Hey, hey hey hey. Hey. Hey now what's wrong, you're like a coiled spring Nicky-babe."

"It's just that I'm a bit concerned about the coalition, Dave. We've had a good start, no denying it, great first 100 days. Some of our policies are really really great. Good decisions on the banks and the quangos, I can even let slip the stuff about taking people's council houses away - that's not true is it? - but it won't be long before the Spending Review is in and people realise just what's going to happen. Is the country ready, are our MPs, can the coalition survive that?"

"Hey Nicky", said Dave, standing up behind his friend and partner, "What you need is a neck rub. They were all the rage at Eton, how was it at Westminster?"

"No sauna", Nick replied nervously, adding, "but what about the coalition?"

"Oh coalition schmoalition.", said Dave, as his hands expertly kneaded at Nick's clenched shoulders, "Let's just enjoy the moment. Victory, 100 days of being in charge. It's all great. Hey there, you're knotted up like billy-oh across the shoulders my chum. So tense. Here, let the fingers go in deep."

Nick shuddered and moaned slightly, but it wasn't through concerns about the future now, Dave's fingers had worked their magic and set his tension free. He felt like a boy of twelve again - but as Dave had mentioned, there wasn't one to hand - it was like being back at Westminster School all those years ago. He felt a sense of freedom and daring he'd not felt since that time. He stood, turned, reached for Dave's face. Their lips touched.

<>

Later the sauna was dark, Dave sat against the back wall with Nick laying across him. The towels had gone, any pretence at modesty seemed inappropriate. Both men relaxed in the warm glow of friendly company and shared experience.

Dave reached down and removed something from Nick's chin with a wipe of his thumb, "Missed a bit! Hey Nicky-Babe, that was pretty special you know."

Nick smiled, "I enjoyed it, it was great, like back at school in the showers with the PE master. Hey Dave, do you think such two men, a deputy and his leader.."

"Dual leaders.", interjected Dave.

"..yes. Yes. Dual leaders. Have such dual leaders ever had such an intimate knowledge and experience of one another? Surely this can lead only to good, or who knows, even greatness for us."

Dave just smiled. He leaned back harder into the wall and stroked Nick's hair.

Nick breathed deeply and nuzzled into Dave's lap a little more. His eyes flicked to the wall behind them. Through the remains of the steam his eyes started to focus in on a small patch of graffiti. As they resolved into words Nick could read clearly, "Gordon 4 Tony 4ever". Suddenly the room didn't seem so warm any-more.

William Hague - a lifter of gentlemen's shirts?

Great picture isn't it. Could they have found two men looking more gay? Outside of Queero's Nightclub of Poofland Street, Homoville I think not. They look like they're filming a version of Brokeback Mountain set in one of London's Georgian Squares. Looking at the picture, with Hague's self-assured straight ahead smile and his chum's more hesitant grin looking across to William it's difficult not to tentatively assign them the roles of stone and sponge, from left to right.

On one level I don't give a fuck if Hague gives, or takes, it with other men. I have a perfectly ambivalent attitude to gays; live your life as you want as long as my bottom is not touched. Campness on the other hand I find wildly funny, as well as how other people react towards homosexuality in general - there's a lot of humour in the world of gay. So who cares where William puts his nob?

Well, the only problem I see (I'm ignoring the infidelity issue, that's really between the man and his wife) is his voting record on Homosexuality Equal rights as you'll see if you go to that link he has a less than enviable record in this regard. When he didn't vote against the various measures he was absent and only in one minor vote did he vote for the majority (pro-gay) opinion. If it turns out he is a sausage jockey then accusations of hypocrisy will be difficult to ignore.

If, on the other hand, they are untrue. The media should be thoroughly ashamed, including me probably.

The Society of the Clitoris

Women assault men with their bodily pheromones to sell their sex for safety and comfort. This is why it can be argued that all women are whores. This is a purely natural circumstance of evolution which has left the child-bearer weaker than the child-provider. In the 60s and 70s a group of lesbian women across the world decided to push for female dominance - although ironically this urge came from the excess of male testosterone created in their genetic lesbian bodies and minds.

As far as I can tell this goes directly against nature. I don't see that as a good sign and aren't sure where society will go with the increase in female dominance. At the very least it's not a great thing for males and we can already see many negative effects for us. I call this the Society of the Clitoris.

The problem - as ever with solutions to the various 'isms' - is that equal rights becomes mixed up with people being equal. We're not, men are generally bigger, stronger, faster and think more clinically and logically. Women are smaller, weaker, slower and think on a more emotional basis. It should be patently clear that the different sexes fit into different roles in society.

As we try to fit ourselves into the wrong shaped holes, is it any wonder than society suffers? A Swedish survey on gender equality from 2007 noted, "[n]egative effects" to health in both sexes are suggested due to increased stress of the opportunities of the workplace, observed that "one-sided expansion by women into traditionally male roles, spheres and activities will not lead to positive health effects unless men also significantly alter their behaviour".

So, to work, men should go against their nature too, to cater for the aberration of women? This seems wrong to me. Perhaps we should just say that equal rights are a great idea but admit that the sexes are different? Take it down a notch and maybe everyone would be a bit happier.

It might even help women too. I can see a future filled with 40-something women with no kids, no husband, no ability to cook or clean a house. The looks have faded and the pheromones now just smell like bad fish. What have they to offer anyone? Not much is it. All they seem to have ahead of them is 40-50 years of boredom and intense loneliness to look forward to. Thanks Germaine, Andrea and the rest.

Tiger Wood's complete prostitution of the games format

Tiger Wood's PGA Tour 11 has many faults. The hierarchical menu system is completely nonsensical, the graphics are too clinical and glitchy, the online skill level system is totally broken and the commentators are as annoying as hell. But it does play a good game of golf that rewards experience well. It represents a big change from my previous golf game, Everyday Golf, which was a lot prettier, easier, less buggy but probably less rewarding.

But let's forget about all that, because I want to talk about how this game completely prostitutes itself to try to screw every penny from its players. These are the top 4 marketing ploys TWPGA11 presents to the consumer:

1. The On-line voucher, as I wrote about here, monetises the second-hand market for EA.

2. Extra courses are available as DLC for the gob-smacking price of £6.29 for a single course. This seems particularly steep to me - far more than I'd expect to pay for a single map for an FPS for example.

3. You can gain some easy XP (the game's currency) by sending a message to each of your friends advertising the benefits of the game. I presume. I've never seen it. All my friends have.

4. Instead of earning XP to buy new items in the pro shop (from shoes to clubs - and they give you various skill bonuses) you can stump up some cold hard cash and buy them on the PSN. They cost from under a pound to several quid, and there's usually a new better item every level or two.
A quick hint here: learn to grind the skills challenges for fast xp.

This seems quite enough to me. I don't buy many EA games, so don't know if this is (ahem) par for the course - but I'll guarantee it will be, and not just for EA. This ghastly nonsense is going to spread and spread until we can't frag someone on Doom 2012 without being asked if we want to buy a bigger gun. There's nothing much to be done of course, gamers being a slothful lot, all but impossible to rouse.